Starting a parent conversation about back-to-school with Secondary students

 Regardless of whether we feel the holiday has been too short or too long, my guess is that there has not been a lot of time that parents have spent berating/negotiating/forcing their children to “hit the books”....or am I divulging too much of what my approach was?

In any case, what follows is an overview of some ideas about how to start some conversations/persuasion/coercion over the dinner table this week or perhaps over the next few weeks, ahead when the students are coming back to school.

Dealing with Procrastination

• Do the hard things first.  If you do the quick things before beginning an important thing it means you spend the best energy on low-impact activities. It takes courage to stop doing the favourite thing so you can focus on important things.

• Don’t let perfectionism keep you from starting.  This means something done imperfectly is better than something not done at all.  You can always improve something after you do it imperfectly.

• Use your calendar. Schedule important items a week ahead to keep lower priority items from filling up the time. And block out free time. 

• Don’t waste energy on guilt. Don’t beat yourself up for procrastinating. You’re less likely to solve a problem when guilt and shame dominate your thinking.

“How to Procrastinate Successfully and Defeat Pointless Procrastination” by Dan Rockwell in

Leadership Freak

Outsmarting Anxiety

• Reframe. When one feels overwhelmed, ask yourself, “what is a different way of

looking at my situation?” Doing this is a key step toward regarding yourself as a capable problem-solver.

• Get outside. Take a walk. By yourself, with someone  that will help you get out

of your own head.

• Hydration and a good diet. Water and proper nutrition facilitates the delivery of nutrients to the brain, removes toxins and inflammatory markers, and improves cognitive functioning.

• Do push-ups. A short burst of physical exertion releases nervous energy.

• Visualize an admired person. What would they do?

• Use Pomodoro. Work in 25-minute chunks followed by 5-minute breaks, and after

four cycles, take a 15-20-minute break.

• Insert a mindful buffer. Between work and home spend a few minutes in silence to

make peace with what’s happened during the day, whether it’s personal and quiet reflection or formal mediation. 

• Clear clutter. This is especially helpful just before going to bed.

• Take a break from phones and laptops. On screen news feeds are distracting and provoke anxiety.

• Dump smiley-face. Sometimes you need to take off the rose-tinted glasses to see your

smudged, cloudy challenges as they are.

• Make a fun plan. Thinking about a get-together with people who are good for your

mental health creates positive anticipation.

• Accept anxiety. Sometimes letting go of the need to control outcomes leads to greater

acceptance of your circumstances.

“12 Ways to Curb Anxiety” by Linda Esposito in Psychology Today, May/June 2021 (Vol. 54,

#3, p. 41)

Reasons for Teenagers to Come to School – and Keep Coming

Students want to come back to school but after they see their friends, how long will

they want to submit to a structure that they have not had for a year and a half? Getting up at

05.30 or 06.00a.m., classes that last 45 to 90 minutes, 5-minute passing periods between classes, sitting in a seat with no food or drink allowed in class, and no access to social media?” On top of all that, students may be dealing with their own personal issues and covid restrictions.

So how are educators going to keep students coming back after the initial round of

camaraderie? For secondary-school students, Payne suggests the following:

• Build a future story. Talk to your child about topics that create a story for their future which pictures them, at age 25 and think about what they want to have, be, and do:

- High-school diploma

- College, technical school, or military

- Work

- Car or other vehicle

- Pay/money

- House/apartment

- Friends

- Relationships/marriage

- Fun/hobbies

Having reflected on these topics, students think about their plan to get to their desired future. This discussion  at home may help students understand that coming to school serves more than a parent-school requirement. When students want to come to school, our job becomes much easiest.